A simplified look at my life...

...Just can't wait to get on the road, again.  Hah, okay - I just thought of that.

 

Anyways, I took the fall and went to the doctor.  I definately have anxiety.  Bad.  I'll write more when I have time.  I should start to feel better in the next week or 2 ...

 

Quickly - Nothing really brought this on, relationship is fine, work is okay, but stressful... school is good, but can be stressful... and I'm a worryier anyways, and one thing led to another - I'd get a negative feeling and it was a downward spiral from there on out.  I was always worrying, insecure of friends, relationships, parents, and my day to day choices...VERY afraid of dying, I had this horrible fear that I had something wrong with me and I wouldn't be able to live a long happy life.  I would have aches and pains, and muscle problems, hard to breath, couldn't catch my breath, uncontrollable tears at times, dizzy, happy/sad fluctuations.. etc etc... I'd read online about common symptoms about certain things and let it sink in my mind that I had cancer, or a severe illness.  People would tell me to think of happy thoughts, or try to focus on a positive - and I'd tell them, Well, I won't be here in a few years anyway - why try?  It was just things like that.  I would cry sporadically throughout the day - usually in the morning.  Couldn't concentrate at work.  I was quiet around Chris or wasn't myself AT ALL.  I'm not the girl I was last year... that's for sure - wouldn't be happy, or be that person I normally am.  That's really when I noticed there was something wrong.  I was not me  - when I broke down abruptly in the Wal*mart checkout line on Sunday.  I knew it was time to get something checked out.  I couldn't handle it much longer.

 

I was prescribed Lexapro.  Well, the generic one.  I never thought this day would come.. but more people are on anti-depressants/anxiety more than you think I guess. 

 

I'm glad I went to the doctor.  It made me feel 75% better - now, I'm relying on the medicine to calm me down, help me concentrate, and help me focus on the happy future ahead.  Everyone needs a little boost every now and then... right?

 

Love,
K