A simplified look at my life...

be content with everything in my life, feel safe, feel loved, and feel like I can do anything.... or, as a matter of fact, it would be nice to feel something, anything.... because right now - I feel, nothing.

I don't know why, and I have no explanation - but whatever it is, is making me feel absolutely nothing. I don't even feel what I used to for Chris? Why do I think something like that, because I know if we broke up, I'd miss him uncontrollably? I didn't even get overly excited to see him last night... nothing - although, he was trying to get me happier, and he wasn't acting any different. Sadly-enough, he was trying to get me happy as can be, but yet he seemed a little on the quiet side himself. Maybe he could tell I had a little tension...? I don't know. I love him, and I know that. There's no question about it... but a girl just goes through these times every once in a while, I think. I hope.

Maybe it's my TTOTM kicking in, and screwing with my hormones, maybe it's just - I don't know, maybe I'm just going through one of them times. I'd really like to just perk up and be happy ...

Maybe I just need a little break away from him? Maybe just some time alone, would be nice?

How can I free myself from all the self frustrations and thoughts when I know in my heart I love him to death.. I may be thinking differently in my mind, but the inside feelings are what I'll follow.

How on earth can I start to feel 'something'....anything... when I feel nothing.